The Beliefs We Hold

The beliefs we hold limit the reality we experience.

Say one of our qualities is courage. But somewhere along the line we have an experience where we draw the conclusion that we must never make mistakes. The belief is not made conscious but it guides our behavior. Then, because of this belief, our innate quality of courage turns into its opposite: cowardice or a distortion of it, recklessness.

So you have courage radiating…
And then you place the filter of belief/fear in front of it.
And it comes out distorted and destructive.

The difficult part is that the belief is unconscious, which means we are not aware of it. But we can only recognize it through self observation. It’s like getting to know yourself by the effects.

And all this is only because of an idea in your unconscious!
Belief creating the reality you experience, bidirectionally. It limits what you can do and it limits what you perceive.

Amazing!

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On Coming Out of the Vicious Circle

“For quite a long while at the beginning of the path, it seems as though you are going around in circles, always encountering the same scenery, apparently not moving from the spot you started from. This would be discouraging if you didn’t know that it is an illusion. Actually, you are moving on, and the circle is what I call “the spiral.”  This is an inevitable experience on the path.

All your faults, errors, ignorances, and their complexities create one big vicious circle in your soul. This circle consists of individual faults which affect and interact with one another and cause a chain reaction. To break this vicious circle, you have to understand thoroughly the individual faults that constitute your vicious circle. You have to concentrate on one after the other so as to find the link of cause and effect within your circle. The whole circle cannot possibly be understood completely from having made the round only once. When you complete the first round, you start again. Each time you start again, you gain a slightly profounder understanding of the various highlights and individual points in the circle until eventually you see the whole circle in your mind and understand the interdependence of all your negative qualities. Then you will cease to experience your faults as unconnected. Until you reach this perspective, you have to repeat the round often. At the beginning this seems to you like senseless repetition, lacking in progress. It is not!  Without going through this most important part on the path you cannot become free and reach the light. Thus the circle becomes a spiral leading upward very gradually.

Some of you may think you know your faults already. This will be so only to the extent you have been active on the path. You may know some of your faults, but others you have not yet discovered. As I have said before, there is a vast difference between knowing and knowing. To what depth do you know?  How much can you connect your faults with your good qualities?  And your faults with each other?  Can you really grasp and understand your fears, insecurities, and complexes from the point of view of your faults in relation to their deviation from the divine laws?  Until you reach such understanding, you must go around and around in your particular vicious circle.

By now you know that all faults come from pride, self-will, and fear. It is essential that you see and feel how each and every one of your faults derives from one or all of these three basic faults. Find the common denominator. This is not easy if you are to understand it emotionally. For that you have to go through the faults and their connections step by step, again and again; you have to follow the vicious circle through until you grasp it well enough so that you can break it at one point. Every time you conclude one round and start the next, you follow an upward-winding spiral. At the beginning the upward slant is so slight that you do not even notice it. But later on, you will clearly feel that every time you start anew, you have gained a profounder insight into your problems, and you will not be discouraged anymore by an apparent standstill.

At the very beginning you do not know or feel that there is such a vicious circle in you. You experience such confusion that you do not even know where to begin. Although you know some of your faults and all of your outer problems, you cannot as yet connect the one with the other. That is the most difficult part at the beginning. Everything within yourself is still disorganized. You do not know where to begin, what to hold on to. The moment you focus your attention on one complexity or problem, other things come up that apparently have no connection, and you become confused. Only self-discipline and perseverance will get you to the point when you finally can see the whole picture of the vicious circle, how one defect is caused by another in a chain reaction. When you get to the point of clarity, you are moving into a major phase. You must not get discouraged when at first the disorganization is so great that you do not know where or how to start. After a while everything will no longer be running like sand through your fingers. You will have something definite to hold on to, a clear picture of this cycle.

The vicious circle consists of a multiplicity of character defects which, at various points, will draw together and show you major problems that can be looked at and worked with. When you progress further, you will find one major point that is the key to your entire personality and to all your problems. You must find that key yourself, and you must do it through your own labor. To tell it to you would not do you any good.”

– Eva Pierrakos, Prayer, Pathwork Lecture #36

Great Discoveries [August 2019]

I haven’t written one of these in a while, so I guess I’ll catch up on a few favorites.

1. Anne with an “e”

I’ll start with the most recent discovery, “Anne with an “e””. This one is a beautifully crafted, visually satisfying, emotionally engaging and soul rewarding pieces of screenwriting that makes your heart just fill with good things! And it’s on Netflix!

2. Outlander

Another very well written show on Netflix! It gets a bit lost on the way, but the actors are just so good and the scriptwriters/directors are so incredibly skilled that they make up for the characters’ irrational behaviors and decisions.

3. The “Academy of Ideas” YouTube Cannel

Very well put-together videos on different aspects of psychological self-work. I have had a number of insights watching some of these videos.

4. Suduaya’s “Autumnal Retreat” EP

5. Before I Fall

Yet another good movie that plays on the idea of being stuck in a loop. I saw Russian Doll earlier this year and then Mom recommended I see this one too. I think the Universe is trying to tell me something, because I have indeed felt like I have been stuck in a loop. I later found that this happens when you try to move forward but you don’t want to let go of old attitudes because you don’t understand the connection that you are creating the very situation that you want to get out of.

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On Decision Making

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Decision Making
Pathwork Guide Lecture No. 32 | June 20, 1958
by Eva Pierrakos

“Now I wish to speak on another subject. The subject of decision-making is very important in everyone’s life, for everything is a decision. This is true not only of your deeds, your obvious and material choices, but also of every emotional attitude a decision holds. The majority of human beings are incapable of making clear-cut, mature decisions. That is why their souls become sick and suffering. Great disorder is created in the soul, which, of course, leads to confusion and conflicts. For you who are on this path, it might be very beneficial to start to view your life, particularly your conflicts, from this point of view. Have you made real decisions? Or do you sometimes make superficial decisions, not weighing or facing what is involved in them, and then thwarted when things naturally do not turn out to your satisfaction? Do you revolt against your self, your surroundings, and life in general?

As long as you are living in this sphere of matter, every decision offers two and sometimes more alternatives. In some cases, there can be several wrong choices and one that is right. Only mature and responsible searching will eventually show you what the right way is. However, in many instances, it will not matter what you actually decide, provided the decision has been made wholeheartedly, awarely, responsibly, not shirking any issues or possible results. Even if one alternative would be better for you than the other, it is infinitely healthier for your soul, strange as this may appear at first, if you choose the wrong way but with the right attitude.

Now what is the right and mature attitude with which to decide? The answer is simply to know what you want and to know what the price is; to realize that you cannot fully have what you want on this earth sphere because there is always a price or a disadvantage to any alternative; and to be wholly willing to pay the price even before it becomes a certainty that the possible disadvantage may turn out to be real. On the other hand, let us assume you chose the right alternative by accident. When I say by accident, I mean that you have chosen as most people do—immaturely, with half-closed eyes, not accepting beforehand the disadvantage implicit in your choice. In this way, you harm your soul a great deal more than by taking on a needlessly more difficult alternative. By deciding with the right attitude, you responsibly accept the price to be paid. So beware of making your decisions half-heartedly like a child, going into them with closed eyes, wishfully thinking that the price can be evaded. Each alternative will have an advantage and also a disadvantage, as long as you live in the world of matter.

In high spiritual spheres and realms, the negative side does not exist anymore. In the lower spheres of darkness, however, no alternative carries with it a so-called advantage. For you, an advantage and a disadvantage will continue to exist until you have worked yourself up to those higher spheres where no disadvantage can befall you, even while still in the body, in the world of matter. To reach such a point you have to go through the laws governing this lower sphere that is rightfully yours for the moment: you have to accept the laws fully and keep them willingly, not because life forces you to do so. Then, and only then, will you reach that point. Trying to avoid the laws of your own world, no matter what spiritual acrobatics you may try, will not work. By the same token, a human being bound to the world of darkness will have to accept the conditions that govern that world, although still on this earth plane.

This ties in with the first words of tonight’s lecture, my friends. To love God means naturally, among many other things, to abide by these various laws—and not only to abide by them, but also to accept them willingly. And one of these laws is that the disadvantageous side of each decision has to be faced and accepted. To make a mature decision means therefore to deliberate each alternative thoroughly; to face not only the advantageous sides of all alternatives in making your choice, but also and equally the disadvantageous. When you have done that, knowing that whatever you choose there is a price to be paid, you can ask yourself which price you prefer to pay; you can think it over, and see if perhaps you prefer to risk a higher price because the possible advantage seems worthwhile. You will then have accepted another one of this earth life’s rules, that the uncertainty also has to be accepted. This includes the risk, the shortcomings of life, which offers you no risk-proof plan. This, too, is important for emotional health, my friends. In that way you act as a mature being and your soul must benefit from it.

No one who makes a decision in this way will ever come to grief because of it! Nor will they ever have to meet the conflicts that result from not making decisions in this way. Conflicts are created not because of a possible wrong or less advantageous decision, but because you go into the decision blindly, not ready and willing to pay the price. This, my friends, happens with each one of you. I do not see anyone who always makes emotional decisions maturely.

I am again giving you strong material to work with on your path. Wherever conflicts exist, in one way or another, you have not made your decisions properly. Do not remain on the surface level; you will have to dig deeper into your emotions in order to find the answer. Within your emotions, sooner or later you must find—provided you search honestly—that you have somehow not made a whole decision; you had somehow hoped to gain the advantage without accepting the disadvantage. And often you even hope—again without thinking it through clearly—to at the same time gain the advantage of both alternatives and to be spared the disadvantage of either. This amounts to cheating life, and the result must inevitably be that life will teach you a lesson and you will reap the disadvantages of both or all sides which you wished to avoid. If you test this emotional, and for the most part unconscious, current, what does this amount to? It amounts to greed.

On this earth sphere most people are greedy, not necessarily in the material sense, but emotionally. And when I say greedy, I mean you want to amass advantages without shouldering the responsibility of paying the price for them. That, needless to say, is a violation of one spiritual law.

Think about the words I have spoken tonight, my friends. This has not been a long lecture, but what I have said will add to the material you need for your progress, if you assimilate it properly and work with it in a very personal way.”

– Eva Pierrakos, Pathwork Guide Lecture No. 32 | June 20, 1958

I recommend reading the full lecture at:
https://pathwork.org/lectures/decision-making/

3 Great Discoveries [January 2019]

1. Eva Pierrakos – The Pathwork of Self-Transformation

A phenomenal book which describes a clear and practical way to understand our conditioned behaviors, our longings and needs and our wounding from a spiritual perspective. And so so much more.

“Under such headings as “The Idealized Self-Image”, “The Forces of Love, Eros and Sex”, “Real and False Needs”, and “The Spiritual Meaning of Crisis”, the Pathwork outlines the entire process of personal spiritual development. Unlike many over-idealized philosophies, the Pathwork confronts our devils as well as our angels, our all-too-human failings and petty ego concerns as well as our divine strengths. It shows us how to accept ourselves fully as we are now, and then to move beyond the negativity, or “lower self”, that blocks our personal and spiritual evolution. It offers a practical, rational and honest way to reach our deepest creative identity.”

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2. Terrace House

Terrace House is a Japanese Netflix show where 6 strangers – 3 boys and 3 girls – are given a shared place to live in and two cars with no script of what to do. They are filmed every day and an episode is produced each week that the 6 strangers live there (ranging from 25 minutes to 45 minutes). The people living in Terrace House are between 18 and 30 something years old. When a boy leaves, he is replaced by another boy, when a girl leaves, she is replaced by another girl. In addition to this, there is commentary about the events of the week provided by the show hosts who analyze what is happening and note on the dynamics between the people living there.

I know this may appear trivial compared to #1, but I find it not only enjoyable but educational as well. I find it really interesting to see how the 6 people relate to each other, to understand their motivations for acting the way they do, and to see some beautiful displays of character. It is an excellent exercise in understanding psychology and for compassionately observing people’s conflicts and patterns of behavior. It’s wonderful to watch how they try to help each other and how they intervene when they feel one of the people living there is doing something wrong, usually not to blame them, but to help them overcome their limitations or shortcomings. Of course, there are situations where some conflicts cannot be easily reconciled and you can see how some people are falling into bad behaviors despite themselves.

This show offers a seriously great opportunity for the study of character. It’s like it becomes clear how the little things evolve into big developments. I love it and I seriously recommend it!

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3. The BlackPilled YouTube Channel

BlackPilled is a YouTube channel held by Devon Stack where he does social and political commentary through making analogies with movies. His videos have been a real highlight for me lately, I’ve been excited about getting YouTube notifications for them.

Usually in his videos he analyzes one particular well-known movie and he identifies the propaganda that is subtly placed in the narrative. He links his findings with the social and political developments in the world and he makes a connection between how the ideas that are symbolically represented in the movies influence the thinking patterns of society and help produce social changes that are intended and planned in advance.

Moreover, he makes parallels with mythical and mystical ideas as well, offering great insights on the intentions of the director/script writer. Great content, I recommend it!

As an example, see this analysis of the movie Pleasantville below. It’s rather long, but it’s worth it!